On This Corner

Not another dream

Where I have to let it go

Not another time

Where I question all I know

All those little pictures

That I treasured in my mind

All those stupid problems

All the answers yet to find

Not another scene

Where I’m bound to fall apart

Not another time

Where I must seek another start

Not back again to zero

That naked starting square

Not back to that again

It’s just too much to bear

Where I must dare to test the spirit

To push it to the edge

And between my dreams and me

There is a giant wedge

Not again – I mustn’t

I must fight for where I’ll be

And yet I mustn’t worry

In the end I’ll still be me

There isn’t any reason

I can’t have what I want

A very simple thing

My own little place to haunt

In many dreams I’ve wandered

And carried a lot of stuff

I looked and looked and looked

I couldn’t look enough

I searched across the countryside

And deep within the city

I found a lot of places

And some of them were pretty

But none of them for me

They were all for someone else

So many did I see, I was beside myself

And then at last I found it

The one that fit my dreams

I knew that I had found it

And that it wasn’t what it seems

It looks so ordinary

It’s nothing super grand

It has a good size yard

But it’s not a lot of land

When I finally found it

The place was meant for me

Somehow I just knew that

It’s where I’m supposed to be

I don’t know all the details

Of how it shall come about

But the place will be in my name

And I won’t be moving out.

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“Old Grim”

People act different when the Grim Reaper is near

Can’t really be sure for whom he is here

Quietly lurking there by the door

He might just take one, but he could take more

He’s here for someone, that old ugly guy

He stands around patiently; the time is nigh

I saw him standing at the foot of the bed

Of someone who looked already half dead

But that old bastard is a sneaky prick

And you never know just who he might pick

One day he’ll be coming looking for you

There’s no telling exactly when he is due

If he has your ticket, it’s time to ride

Won’t do any good to try and hide

But I did see an old gal once spit in his face

And damn if she didn’t give him a chase

But he had her ticket; it was time to go

He didn’t care who cried “Oh, no!”

“You’re coming with me.” he flatly said

Don’t think you can stall with fear or dread

That is his job, and do it he must

When it’s time to go, it’s done, it’s a bust

The first time I saw him, he looked pretty scary

But the first time I saw him, he didn’t tarry

He took who he came for and left right away

But he came back again the very next day

He wasn’t loud and not even rude

I know this maybe will sound rather crude

But after a while, I got used to him

I’d walk down the hall and there was Old Grim

It’s not that I liked him, but I knew who he was

I knew his role and I knew what he does

I’d see him around just lurking about

And it has to be so, and so I didn’t freak out

But that old bastard carries a stink

And that son-of-bitch gets you to think

Makes people act different when Old Grim is near

Can’t really be sure for whom he is here

Take nothing for granted; that’s what you learn

‘Cause you never know when it might be your turn.

 

Not Going Backwards

How can you say you love me?

You haven’t got a clue

Suggesting I go back

To the life that I once knew

 

Just live a double life

Hide behind a lie

Only for a while

Unless of course I die

 

It tells me you don’t know me

Don’t know what makes me tick

I’d tell you everything

But I can’t tell it all that quick

 

A flashing flood of memories

Washes through my mind

Going back to where I was

Would put me back behind

 

The progress that I’ve made

And what it cost my soul

If you’d have me going backwards

Then just put me in a hole!

 

Would you really want to know?

What’s in a woman’s heart?

Could you understand?

What tears it all apart?

 

Would you really have me go –

Where I cried so many tears?

Would you really think it best –

After all those long hard years?

 

How can you say you love me?

And yet offer me false hope

Trying to put me in a place

Where I know I can not cope

 

I simply can not bear it

To hear this from your lips

If only I could show you

Some of those memory clips

 

Well, thank you for your time

But you’d best be on your way

I’ll get by all right

Tomorrow’s another day…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Glory

I do what I want when I can

I don’t have time for a man

 

I buy my own way, pay my own rent

Laugh at the wind when my money is spent

 

How will it be when I’m old and gray

Will I still have anything left to say?

 

Anything else I might be missin’?

Someone there who maybe would listen?

 

The water’s rising, but I can swim

I won’t drown in the memory of him

 

I’ve learned a lot and I’m moving on

The days of worry and fear are gone

 

I’m living my life minute by minute

Life is a play on the stage and I’m in it

 

I’ll just be the best that I think I can be

The starring role was written for me

 

I’ll take a bow when the curtain is drawn

Break-a-leg and then I’ll be gone

 

No applause, no lights, no glory

But it doesn’t matter –

I told my story…

 

Mr. So-So

I blew him a kiss

In the back of my mind

I guess he was sweet

I guess he was kind

He toyed with my heart

He teased my spirit

He tried to get close

But he couldn’t get near it

He wasn’t my enemy

He wasn’t my friend

There was no beginning

There was no end

It was what it was

It was nothing at that

So I said goodbye

And went home to my cat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of the Time

I dream big dreams

It’s a hobby of mine

It makes everything better

Makes everything fine

I claim no worry about what will be

Or what has already been

Then I go about my business

Wearing a happy grin

I don’t see “reality”

I may be a fool

But I feel pretty good

It seems to be cool

If it weren’t for the dreams –

They keep me going

I wouldn’t have a seed

That’s even worth sowing

If I hold onto what’s “real”

Can’t stand how I feel

It makes me so mad

And awfully sad

So I dream big dreams

It’s a hobby of mine

It makes everything better

Most of the time

 

Migraine

An old familiar headache, like an acquaintance from the past

The kind that wants to linger, the kind that wants to last

It comes slowing creeping up your skull

With an awful thumping, slow and dull

It wraps itself around you, as if it were a friend

Reminding you of troubles that seem to have no end

Of course, we know…it must subside

It can’t remain, can not abide

When the wicked little fellow who’s been tapping on your brain

Finally gets his kicks and has nothing left to gain

Then finally he may leave you and take his hammer too

And maybe for a while, you can just be you

Oh, how easy that would be! How delightful does that sound!

Better than ten aspirin, if he just won’t come around

But first I have to recognize from whence the villain came

Sometimes I can banish him, if I call him by his name

Before he gets too settled in, before he starts his work

I must kick him to the curb, the sneaky little jerk

Catch him at the onset as he first walks in the door

Stop him in his tracks; say I’ll have no more!

It’s that old familiar headache, like an acquaintance from the past

The kind that wants to linger, the kind that wants to last…

Midnight Cafe’

I dreamed I was –

Running around in a midnight cafe

Searching wildly for something to say

Carrying on in an unreasonable way

I was –

Collecting tips and bits of news

They’d tell me to leave

But I’d refuse

I was adding up everyone else’s views

Then just –

Keeping the water below my chin

Hoping only for a chance to win

I suddenly saw how to begin

Just to –

Be of service to my fellow man

Do the things I know I can

Learn and grow, that was the plan

 

And then I woke up.

Let The Clock Tick

Was that really me?

It’s all such a blur

Is that really us?

Is that how we were?

How did that happen?

We fell apart at the seams –

Where’s the fulfillment

Those plans and dreams?

Was I even there?

Was I by your side?

Was that just my shell?

Had the spirit died?

I thought we both had

The very same goal

I knew that the past

Would take its toll

But I didn’t know

The price was so high

I didn’t know

The if and or why

At first it was easy

The way we would click

Like we both knew

What made us tick

But somewhere in there

I disappeared

Somehow I got

Just what I’d feared

I played my role

Like a theater part

I kept waiting for

Something else to start

Something that maybe

Included me

Something that’d really be

Something to see

With me as the wife

Of a loving friend

With me as your partner

Until the end

Somehow I kept going

Sort of by rote

Always so busy

Trying to stay afloat

Then one day I saw

That this was really it

Like a bucket of cold water

Was how it finally hit

One day I felt that

I wasn’t your friend

I wasn’t your partner

Just a means to an end

I was there at your service

Like a backstage prop

Waiting like always

For the shoe to drop

You standing there

And taking a bow

Me – invisible

Just invisible somehow

All that I had wanted

All I had believed

Just quietly died

At left me bereaved

I lost my ambition

I became very tired

Like a disgruntled employee

About to be fired

So what else could I do?

I just up and quit

I said to myself –

Enough of this shit

I abandoned my love

I gave up my hope

I went off by myself

Like a clumsy old dope

For that’s how I felt

So clumsy and old

What happened to me?

I used to be bold

How did I get here?

Alone in the dark –

What happened to life?

Where’s my walk in the park?

I lost my way

I can’t find a map

Can’t go with you

Back to that trap

And now, even now

You accuse me and blame

Now, even now

You pile me with shame

I failed you, my love

When my spirit was broken

But all I took was the ring

The ring, for a token

A token of love

A symbol of pledge

And now, even now

I’m pushed to the edge

Now, even now

What more can I give?

Now, even now

Can’t I just live?

Why did you come here?

Making me sad –

Enough of that

Is what I’ve had!

Your words still have power

You still get to me

Because I’m still invisible

And you still don’t see

Alas I may finish

My life on my own

At least I’m not little

At last I have grown

It’s very unlikely

You would even care

To consider me now

Or see me there

You can hire some girl

To do just as you say

Then you can always

Have it all your way

We could have been partners

If you’d wanted me

We would have been partners

Like it’s meant to be

But I have to know

What I’m fighting for

I need a clear path

Not like before

I’ll not live again

In a blinding blur

Can’t be like it was

Can’t be like we were

I hope you forgive me

And understand

I’ve no thorn in my side

Just a pen in my hand

I’ve no ax to grind

No bones to pick

I just sit here and wait

And let the clock tick

A Jaded Heart

She’s a nice person

But with a jaded heart

A dusty rose

That’s been torn apart

The seeds have fallen

And hit the dirt

Oh my gosh –

It really hurt!

Kept on hurting

Always the pain

Why would she put herself

Through all this strain?

Ugh!

Because you know

It goes like this

You swim through pain

To find your bliss

Of all the things

She thought she’d miss

Nothing so sweet

As a lover’s kiss!

But who shall find

This tainted lass

Who supposedly landed

First in her class

A broken heart

Will surely mend

His kiss on her lips

Until the end

She never broke

But she could

Sure as hell bend

And this my friend

Became the trend

And as she laid

Her body down

Peace at last

Was surely found

Where love and joy

Forever abound!

Even for one who’s

Been torn apart

A nice person

With a jaded heart…