After Christmas

I took down the tree

And I wasn’t so sad

I put the decorations away

And it wasn’t too bad

I did that Christmas deal

I felt it was all very real

And I did not go crazy

I was not a bit lazy

It all went off quite well

Not like other times I could tell

I could tell you of times that were not very nice

Like a turd that’s covered in sugar and spice

With all the lovely Christmas tradition

Still it felt like some kind of perdition

Somehow I was never quite good enough

Never seemed to have had the right stuff

Always lacking and so insecure

Very confused and nothing for sure

Stress just piled up and piled up some more

And there wasn’t a way to just shut that door

But this year was different

Things aren’t the same

I’m totally in charge and

I run my own game

I remembered the reason

The truth of the season

And rejoiced in my heart

Which was not torn apart

But happy inside

In a way I can’t hide

And it didn’t matter what I had not

Because the main thing that I got

Wasn’t a gift that came from the store

Wasn’t a thing that makes you want more

It was a calmness and knowing

How love just keeps growing

Christmas was for real, my friend

A wonderful feeling that doesn’t end

As I took down the tree, not feeling sad

And not feeling awful, not even a tad.

Save Yourself

You have to lay in the ashes

Of what once has been

Put aside the guilt

Lay down the sin

Leave it all there

And then get up and go

Put into practice

What you now know

The smoke has cleared

The sun will rise

Take off your blinders

Remove the disguise

You are who you are

And you need not hide

God is with you

And He’s on your side

Rather should say

You’re with Him

What once was confusing

Is no longer dim

You just need to do it

And don’t be afraid

The risk is for freedom

And it’s a good trade

Do what you must

And do it quick

It’s all right there

Won’t cost you a lick

You’ve always been scared

But now you are brave

Pick yourself up

It’s your own ass to save!

Now Of Late

You were Lady Of The Manor

You held a grand estate

But it isn’t like that anymore

Things are different now of late

Waiting for your lover

By the window near the rain

Hoping you will see your love

Before you feel more pain

Too much pain and it comes too slow

Just enough so you never can know

If indeed you are really done

Well, it never really was much fun

But you enjoyed the title

You were happy with that perk

Until you finally realized

It’s a fucking lot of work!

Is it work you could enjoy –

Your heart you would employ?

Otherwise forget it!

Might just as well regret it…

It never was much fun

Most likely you are done

Just stand there by the window

Staring at the rain

Searching for the answers

As it’s driving you insane.

The Uncertainty

Coffee in the morning

And red wine at night

The sun and the moon

And a lot of hindsight

Of him kissing my hand

And me kissing his ass

It’s all gone sour

Yet we’re given a pass

Lingering here

In the state of unknown

Hoping somehow

At least we have grown

Grown from the children

We once foolishly were

Grown into adults

But still so unsure

Unsure of this life

Unsure of what’s true

Unsure of me

And surely of you

Alas we sit

And together we ride

But at least it’s all out

With nothing to hide

One thing I’ve learned

And it’s precious for sure

We’ll never be

What we once were

Cause I’m not your puppet

And you’re not my master

And we move slowly along

With no need to go faster

Wanting More

If you didn’t think about wanting more

You never would have left

Never shut that door

Never would have walked away

Or had the courage

To face the day

You’d have stayed right there

And lived in sorrow

Never thinking of a new tomorrow

Accepting it all as the status quo

Never realizing what now you know

That love is possible

And you can have more

If you have the courage

To open that door

Open it wide and walk on in

The fun never starts

Until you begin –

Begin to have faith in yourself, my dear

There now my loves, have we made it clear?

Wanting more is the very start

To mending a severely broken heart

Faith and courage is the way, my friend

To living your life and beginning again!

After You Leave

Your house of cards

Is falling down

The word is out

All over town

Your family rules

Have all been broken

Nothing’s left

Not a token

Because of this

The cold hard truth

Drop those lies

Held since youth

Family traditions

Involving pain

So much loss

No real gain

It all stood

On a pack of lies

At last that old way

Finally dies

A new way to live

Yeah, I said it

I’ll say it again

I don’t regret it

A new way to live

And I do believe

We’ll all be happier

After you leave

Cloudy Viewpoint

The cloudy viewpoint

Of a broken heart

That fell upon me

When we fell apart

We had our time

And it was good

And now it’s ended

As it should

You know it’s not a problem

You know I love you still

You know it’s not a problem

Cause you know I always will

You make your way

Where you gotta go

And leave me here

Think I don’t know

I know what’s up

And who you are

Wouldn’t have to go

Too far

Too far around

Around again

Make your way

Be gone Old Friend

We done.

This Is What Kills Her

All those other women, all those other nights

All those awful times they had all those awful fights

And yet she would be happier still

To give up and surrender her will

If only she thought the lie was the truth

Like she used to, back in her youth

But not any more, and so alas –

She could never quite surpass

Never wholly overcome

The pain was gone, but she was numb

There was that evil glint in his eyes

Peeking out through his disguise

Clever he was and clever he is

She could never really be his

And he never really belonged to her

And things remained as they always were

The pain is gone, but she is numb

You can see what she’s become

Walking around inside her head

Only half alive and sort of dead

She has no passion and nothing thrills her

And in the end, this is what kills her

I’ve Got Work To Do

I was trying to get rich when I ran out of money

It was kind of sad, but still kinda funny

Back to the books, back to school

It’s not too late, to keep your cool

There’s a long list of ‘maybe’s

And sweethearts and babies

And talk of things we would do

But we won’t cause somehow I knew

All that talking is cheap

Like words you can’t keep

And round the bend we go

With more and more I don’t know

I don’t know who you are

I don’t know where you’ve been

But I know I’m not going there again

Who ever you are is not who you were

It’s not enough to cause a stir

I’m not moved and I’ll not commit

It looks like it’s really just time to quit

Sweetie, go on, I’ve got work to do

Now move along and be off with you

A ‘maybe’ to me is the same as a ‘no’

So open the door baby, out you go!